


petals and bones

by Jade_exe



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Gen, Halloween, MXweeklytheme, MonWriters, Paranormal, Thriller, What am I doing, Writober, hyungwon im sorry, spoopy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 20:19:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16182446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jade_exe/pseuds/Jade_exe
Summary: "You don't get to die and be reborn the same.You come back, but you come back wrong.This is the price you pay for resurrection."-Nathaniel Orion G.K.





	petals and bones

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time I finish a work in two years, so please have mercy of my worn out soul

When they met, it was a cold April morning. Trees were lightly loaded with dewy flower blossoms and the grass was still moist from the rainy night. Everything was a motionless painting, colored of green, white and pink.  
He was, instead, a moving figure with dark hair and a lean body wrapped in a black long coat, too outstanding, clashing against the soft spring picture surrounding him, not belonging there, fleeing from it.

  
Hyungwon soon found out that “Black Coat” was in the same English class as him. Turns out that he also had the best grades in their course, although being one year younger than his classmates.

\---

 

It was May when Hyungwon saw the perfect chance and approached him.  
It was May and the flowers were in the middle of their blooming, but the guy still wore black clothes. Hyungwon didn’t mind, he didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, since he looked elegant and charming dressed that way. The guy, whose name turned out to be Changkyun, was polite and he immediately agreed to help Hyungwon with his poor English.  
Before summer break, Hyungwon aced his English exam. Everything was proceeding smoothly, perfectly. Hyungwon’s life had never been so heavenly before. He didn’t think he needed to be careful, but heaven has tiles made out of clouds and if you don’t pay attention, it’s a very long fall from up there.

\---

 

It was September when Changkyun started skipping classes to visit his mother’s grave in a cemetery near Gwangju. Hyungwon didn’t think it was strange at first. At least, not until the fourth day in a row.

\---

 

It’s October and Changkyun is missing. Again. It’s the third time since summer break ended. Changkyun would always tell Hyungwon that he has nothing to worry about, but he has a hard time getting used to his best friend disappearing for days without warning and cutting any contact until he decides to come back.  
Two days after, Hyungwon spots Changkyun walking in the university’s courtyard, his classic black coat flapping behind him with every step. As usual, he looks uninterested and fierce, almost intimidating. Hyungwon immediately starts jogging to catch up with his friend.

“Hey” the taller greets his younger classmate.

“Morning” Changkyun replies. Hyungwon knows he does it merely for manners. Changkyun doesn’t like speaking uselessly.

“Where have you been for the past nine days?” Hyungwon tries. The first time he asked something alike, Changkyun didn’t answer. Actually he did, but he did it his way, throwing Hyungwon a glance that could freeze the flames of hell in an instant. A glance that clearly meant “it’s none of your business”. Hyungwon never dared to ask again, not until now. He can’t physically stand one more sleepless night or another restless day spent worrying about his friend.

“Can I sleep at your place tonight?” Changkyun ignores the question.

Now it’s become weird. Everything is just too weird for Hyungwon to handle. He stops walking in pure shock. It’s not because Changkyun avoided the question. It’s not because Changkyun asked to come over for the first time. It’s because for the first time since they know each other, Changkyun lowered his head and stared at the ground. In a single second his fierceness was gone, replaced by what he tried to show as vulnerability; but Hyungwon knows Changkyun so well that now they almost need no words to communicate. Changkyun is an excellent actor when it comes to hiding things, but Hyungwon has read the script of this play and this is the first time since they met in which Hyungwon manages to take a peek at the wolf he knows is buried behind the lamb disguise.

“Are you having troubles with your father again?” Hyungwon breaks out from his thoughts and quickly catches up Changkyun’s pace. The younger doesn’t need to ask for confirmation to know that the answer to his previous question is yes.

“Yeah, kind of” he vaguely admits. It sounds like a lie, but when it comes to Changkyun you never know what’s true and what is not. Hyungwon has simply learnt to shrug it off and pretend he believes what his friend says. In any case, that’s the only choice he has.

“I understand. Just know that I’ll always be there for you, whenever you need me” Hyungwon tries to comfort him, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Of course you will, honey” Changkyun jokes, smiling brightly at him.  
From the outside, that may seem a normal chat between best friends; but deep down inside, somewhere Hyungwon can’t quite identify, there’s something wrong, unsettling, out of place.

\---

 

That night, Hyungwon’s nightmares are different. He’s gotten used to scary dreams, as they started tormenting his sleep when Changkyun went missing for the first time. Tonight, Hyungwon doesn’t dream of falling in an endless, void black hole; tonight he dreams of Changkyun.

It’s not a nightmare at first, but suddenly everything gets out of control, the scene changes and now Changkyun has his cold, bruised hands around Hyungwon’s neck. He’s not choking him, not yet.

“I could tear you apart…” he says, but it sounds like it’s someone else’s voice. Changkyun’s tone is characteristically low and husky, but in the dream it’s far beyond that, it sounds gravelly and deep in a terrifyingly unnatural way. All at once he tightens his grip, until Hyungwon can hardly breath.

“…if I wanted” he continues, moving his face closer.

Even though they’re a breath apart, Hyungwon can’t quite recognize his features. He guesses it may be because he’s about to lose consciousness, so his vision has blurred out; but when he really thinks about it, he realizes he doesn’t remember having actually seen his face. He looks like a blurred shadow, but his voice, the way his hands feel on his skin… Hyungwon has no doubt it’s Changkyun.

Hyungwon wakes up with a jolt right before dreaming of losing consciousness. He instantly sits straight on the bed, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom and trying to detect at least the contours of things in the poor light coming from a gap in the curtains.  
When he catches the outlines of Changkyun’s figure, who’s soundly asleep in the camping bed in the middle of the room, the images of the nightmare strike him. Hyungwon instinctively rubs his neck with his hands, but he immediately gasps, jumping on the spot more because of shock than because of the stabbing pain he feels at the contact.

Trying to make as little noise as possible, he runs to the bathroom in the grip of terror and adrenaline. When he switches the light on, it takes him more than it should to open his sensitive eyes and look in the mirror.  
As he lowers his gaze on the red-purplish marks on his neck, he has to put his hands on his mouth in order to keep quiet. His breath accelerates, his heartbeat speeds up and he feels his eyes watering. His brain stops working properly and he thinks he’s going to pass out from dread. Instead, he just stats silently crying as he mentally asks himself how is he going to fall asleep ever again.

 ---

 

The following morning, Hyungwon gets suddenly woken up by distant and rhythmical noises. He jumps on his feet in a second, fearing to be living the nightmare again. Instead, it’s just Changkyun knocking on the bathroom door.

 _Fuck, after all I fell asleep once again_.

“Hyung, how long are you gonna be in there? I have to wash my face at least” he shouts from the other side of the cheap wooden door. He sounds rightfully annoyed, but still normal.

_Maybe it was all just a dream._

“I’ll be out in a minute, sorry!” he apologizes, feeling reassured by Changkyun’s familiar voice.

_Maybe I imagined it._

Except when Hyungwon approaches the mirror to wash his face and teeth, the marks are still there. His knees almost give in and he has to firmly hold onto the wash-basin in order not to fall. He doesn’t understand how, but he manages to line up one thought or two and he considers that if Changkyun sounds so light-hearted, he mustn’t have realized what happened during the night. And he’d better not find out. Hyungwon doesn’t need an extra person panicking over something he can’t even explain to himself.

“Uhm, can you hand me the white turtleneck sitting on the chair please?” Hyungwon shouts in order to make himself audible, soon moving away from the mirror to get his eyes off the frightening bruises.  
He leans his ear against the door and he hears some fumbling in the other room. That sound has an oddly calming effect on his senses. A few seconds later, Changkyun knocks gently on the wooden surface. Hyungwon half-opens the door, just enough to let his arm out and reach for the desired piece of clothing.

“Why aren’t you coming out?” Changkyun asks, vainly trying to have a peek inside, while Hyungwon immediately shuts the door close. He doesn’t understand if he’s teasing or worried, his flat tone doesn’t leak any distinct emotion.

“I was shirtless. Now that I’ve put something on, the bathroom is all yours” Hyungwon ensures him, while quickly getting dressed and adjusting the shirt’s collar so that the bruises are well covered. When he’s done, he opens the door and Changkyun is standing there waiting for his turn to wash himself.

“Fucking finally. It took you forever, turtle” His gaze is hard at first, but it soon melts in a mocking and friendly smirk as the younger walks past Hyungwon to claim his possess over the bathroom.

_If he was asleep when I woke up, where the fuck do the marks on my neck come from?_

He tries wrapping his neck with his own hands, but it’s useless. He doesn’t need to look in the mirror once again to know that the purple finger marks don’t match with his. They were clearly caused by another pair of hands.  
Hyungwon spends the rest of the day barely talking to anyone, his eyes glued to the ground, his mind drowning in darkness, filled by thoughts so rapturing that he fears he might get lost.

\---

 

Hyungwon can’t help it but suspect Changkyun. He wouldn’t want to and it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s purely logical. He was the only one in the room with him and there were no signs of intrusion anywhere in the main door or near the windows. Strangle marks can’t just appear on someone’s skin out of nowhere, the presence of a culprit is directly implied.

Everything feels surreal. There are too many pieces missing in Hyungwon’s knowledge and, on the other side, there’s Changkyun acting perfectly fine. It really doesn’t make any sense.  
Hyungwon hasn’t mentioned the “accident” with him. First, he wanted to see if Changkyun would bring something up spontaneously, but the more time passes the more Hyungwon starts doubting himself.

He decided to put some distance between the two of them since the day of the accident. Not a whole unrepairable gap, just a little bit of time spent alone trying to figure things out. Even though all of his efforts appear to be ineffective.

Overall, though, things don’t seem to go wrong anymore. The night of the accident dates back to two weeks before and, actually, nothing just as bad has happened ever since. It’s right when Hyungwon starts thinking that maybe he’s obsessing too much over that event, that maybe he should forget it and move on with his life that Changkyun skips a day at school.  
Hyungwon has a bad feeling about it, the worst feeling he’s ever had.  
The skipped days become two, then three.  
On the second day, Hyungwon has the same exact nightmare he had two weeks before. When the feeling of death wakes him up, new bruises have showed up on his neck. On the third day the nightmare is still the same, but when Hyungwon wakes up his neck isn’t a total mess like he expected it to be, instead the rest of his bedroom is.

The following day he takes a walk around the campus to see whether Changkyun has come back. When Hyungwon realizes his friend isn’t anywhere to be found, he skips class too. He gives himself a day off and he takes advantage of the situation to clean his room and to go for a walk around Seoul.  
Halloween is near, so every shop window has something black, purple or orange in it. People are already wearing themed clothing and candy shops are giving their best. Without thinking twice, Hyungwon ventures inside the most appealing candy shop in his range of action. After all the stress he’s been through, a prize is more than well deserved.

As he moves out of the shop cherishing the sweet weight of the paper bag in his hand, his eyes catch the glimpse of something he recognizes way too well. Dark hair, pale skin, black coat, long stride, smoothly slipping away in the crowd, melting into it, but not to Hyungwon’s eyes. He would detect his presence even among a thousand identical black coats.  
Hyungwon is uncertain what to do. Maybe he should go his own way and pretend he didn’t see, but before he can perceive it, his feet are already heading in the wrong direction and they’re moving rather fast.  
He doesn’t know why his body was feeling the urging need to follow Changkyun. It didn’t take him long to notice that, lately, things in his life had sped-up so much that his thoughts were struggling keeping the pace. Acting without thinking is risky and Hyungwon doesn’t really like taking risks, especially when the situation requires him to be careful.

In a minute, his hand is already meeting Changkyun’s one, catching his attention and causing him to stop walking and flinch slightly. Their fingers have never touched for longer than half a second, nor intentionally. Now that Hyungwon is fully grabbing Changkyun’s hand, he has the opportunity to notice how big and dry it is, how cold it feels and the redness on his knuckles, that appear as they’re about to bleed.  
Changkyun turns around and glares at his friend rather startled, expecting him to say something. Hyungwon doesn’t speak, for he has actually nothing to say. He simply stares back and assumes that Changkyun might have noticed the apprehension in his eyes, as he doesn’t say a word, he just squeezes Hyungwon’s hand back and starts promenading in the sea of people once again, his pace mildly slower than before.

They have never held hands that way. Actually, physical contact in general has always been quite limited between them; but now his right hand busy carrying a bag of candy and his left one slowly heating Changkyun’s frozen fingers are the most comforting things he could ask for. And everyone knows that candies are better if you share them.  
Usually, his nightmares stop when Changkyun comes back in town and, since he wasn’t around the last time that Hyungwon woke up with a bruised neck, he drops all his charges against him and doesn’t hesitate to invite Changkyun over, that night.

\---

 

Usually, his nightmares stop when Changkyun gets back in town. Except for this time, though.

When Hyungwon wakes up in the middle of the night, he can sense a gentle weight on the edge of the mattress. When his eyes adjust to the dim light, he can discern Changkyun’s silhouette from the rest of the dark room.

“Changkyun-ah? What the…” Hyungwon speaks in a raspy voice, struggling to get sleep off him.

“You know, hyung, I’ve been thinking” Changkyun is sitting on the edge of the bed, his back facing Hyungwon.

“Thinking about what?” Hyungwon lifts himself up with lethargic effort in order to sit on the bed.

“Don’t you think that it’s sad that only a small part of human life is dedicated to beauty and prosperity? We’re like flowers, we’re only allowed to bloom in the ‘May’ of our life, that is from 20 to more or less 27, then we start aging. It’s a process we can’t stop. Isn’t it sad that we only have seven years of pure beauty available? Seven years out of ninety isn’t a fair compromise…” Changkyun leaves his soliloquy hanging mid-air, as if he’s expecting some sort of reaction from Hyungwon, but at the same time leaving Hyungwon speechless.

“It’s… it’s true, but how is this relevant now?” he gulps, confused. Changkyun is completely motionless, so perfectly still that even his breath can’t be perceived. Hyungwon starts to feel the adrenaline mixing in his blood and running in his veins until, in a matter of seconds, it diffuses in his entire body. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like anything of this, especially his fight or flight response being activated.

“It’s relevant because, hyung, you are now so young and beautiful. It would be a shame to see you age and rot, like a pretty flower forgotten on a branch of his own tree, similar to his many siblings, but never exactly the same as them. You are so different and yet you don’t realize it. You don’t realize what a waste would it be if your beauty had to fade” Changkyun’s voice is flat and low and Hyungwon doesn’t understand anything of this mess.  
He simply gets that the right choice between fight or flight is the second one. He jumps off the bed, but his left arm doesn’t follow the movement, bounding him back and causing him to fall on the floor instead. When Hyungwon gets completely rid of his drowsiness, he feels Changkyun’s fingers wrapped around his wrist.

_When did it happen?_

“You see, I thought I’d get you a gift. A special one. A gift no one else can give you” he pauses. Hyungwon doesn’t say anything, he just wishes to be swallowed by the wooden boards under him or to wake up from this strange and horrifying nightmare.

“I thought I could gift you your own beauty. Like, forever” he explains, getting on his knees on the floor, hovering right above Hyungwon’s body, trapping him permanently to the ground.  
Hyungwon is paralyzed, frozen in fear. He doesn’t try to escape. His body may be alert, but his brain is still a bit numb because of his somnolence. However, fighting would be useless. He’s taller, but he knows Changkyun is stronger, even though he doesn’t let it show.

“Just cut the shit, Changkyun, this isn’t funny anymore” Hyungwon’s voice trembles, but there’s still a trace of irritation behind the surfacing terror.

“Wrong answer. This is right when the fun starts” Changkyun threatens, now pinning Hyungwon’s body to the floor with his full weight. In a matter of instants, Hyungwon feels a way too familiar sensation on his neck.

“I’m sorry for the bruises. I wasn’t quite experienced in doing this, but I promise I understood where I was doing it wrong. This time it should work” he almost whispers, softly. The regret in his voice is genuine, but there’s something wrong about it, something unhealthy and sick.

“Also because it’s the last try I have left…” he utters with a confident smirk, then suddenly beginning to choke his victim.  
Usually, when Changkyun comes back in town Hyungwon’s nightmares disappear. Unless this time they are too real to go away.  
Yes, the feeling is definitely too familiar, so familiar that Hyungwon puts up little to no fight at all.

_It’s useless anyway._

He thinks, as he lets his mind sink in a dark void while his brain slowly runs out of oxygen. It feels like time has stopped, it’s taking forever.

_Can’t I just die and get this over with?_

But death has never felt further than now. His vision blurs out and his eyes wander around the poorly lit room, trying to store any kind of memory, just to see if you’re allowed to keep them in the afterlife. His neck hurts; it hurts quite more than the other times, actually. It’s uncomfortable, but hopefully it won’t be long until “pain” becomes a simple and meaningless word.

All at once, though, Changkyun does something curious. He carefully leans forward, until their faces are just one breath away. While Hyungwon takes that breath, his last one, the final thing he assumes he sees are Changkyun’s lips closing the distance with his face just above his right eye. Unfortunately, Hyungwon doesn’t hold on enough to feel the contact of Changkyun’s lips on his right eyelid, but he imagines it to be as silky as a rose petal and as deadly as its spikes.

\---

 

Hyungwon wakes up with a long and deep gasp, as if he’s just emerged from a black abyss of deadly waters trying to bring him down and drown him.

The first thing he sees is Changkyun’s soft smile, the second one is that only his left eye is seeing his figure.  
He touches his neck, his face, his whole body. He looks at his hands. He’s perfectly fine, but his right eye doesn’t work.

“Welcome back. Had a nice trip?” Changkyun begins.

Hyungwon ignores him. He stands up quickly and his head starts spinning, but he ignores that too. He rushes to the bathroom and the only thing he manages to think is

_It’s like the first time_

Unless this time his neck isn’t bruised, his skin is as white and candid as snow, his lips have already lost part of their redness and his right eye is black. Not bruised or hurt. It’s not a contusion, it’s not a wound and it doesn’t hurt. It simply doesn’t feel anything, doesn’t see anything. It is often said that some blind people can actually detect the intensity of light and other things such as obfuscated silhouettes or contours. Instead, he sees nothing, just pitch black. Exactly the same black that now paints his cornea, his eyelid and its close proximity. All the skin surrounding his eye is now tinted black, blurred purple and red.

“What did you do…” he whispers in front of the mirror. If he tries to touch the black matter, he doesn’t feel anything. It’s like he’s touching another person’s skin.

“I stopped your clock. Your full bloom will be forever framed in a gallery of dying flowers” Changkyun, who’s now leaning against the doorframe, replies.

“Unfortunately, in order to live forever you have to die first. I’m sorry for the failed attempts, I haven’t done this often” he explains.

“Who are you?” Hyungwon turns around to face him straight. His voice is cracked, messed up by too many feelings at once. Anger, sorrow, dread, despair, confusion, _relief_ …

“I am one of the many personifications of Death. And now you’re one too” he smiles and, for the first time, Hyungwon witnesses Changkyun directing him a smile that doesn’t conceal any second meaning beneath it.

“We can be beautiful together for as many eternities as you want”.

**Author's Note:**

> okay first off I'm sorry because I know this is a huge mess, so let me explain please!
> 
> This is my entry for the #MXweeklytheme challenge on monbebe amino and this week's theme was acronyms with the members' names. I had to choose whichever member I wanted to be my main character and I had to put at least five of the ten elements of his name in my story.  
> In my case I chose Changkyun and the ten elements were: cemetery, candy, hollow man, ants, nine, gift, knife, young, undead, noise. If you paid attention, I’ve put six of these elements in my story. If you didn’t, let the treasure hunt begin! lol
> 
> Now onto the “plot holes” I believe that may have confused you in the ending. Basically I portrayed Changkyun as “one of the many personifications of Death” who learnt how to turn people into undead entities (does this count as a seventh element???) forcing them to experience death before they become immortal.  
> This ritual can be unsuccessful without permanently killing the victim only if it is performed when they’re unconscious (passed out or asleep). Otherwise, if the ritual fails in any other case the victim simply dies. So Changkyun didn’t want to risk and kill Hyungwon the first few attempts he did! (how lovely of him)
> 
> I also wanted the ritual to be sealed by a kiss in this case, which was the cause of what happened to Hyungwon's eye. (yes just because)  
> In order to resurrect you actually have to pay something, nothing is free in this ugly and cruel world oof. Hyungwon had to sacrifice his eye, just as Changkyun's lungs don't work. Yes when Hyungwon didn't feel him breathing, it's because he actually doesn't lol  
> I imagined him getting stabbed in the back when he went through the ritual himself, yea 
> 
> Also, I like flowers, bye
> 
> Jade.exe


End file.
